I’m working with a coach to get a book written. Writing a book is a big goal. I’m at the “sit at your desk and open a vein” part of the process (meaning I actually have to sit my a** down and write… a lot.) I’ve found a way that works for me and wanted to share it with you. This goal setting method can be used for any project you really want to complete but find yourself avoiding even getting started.

I’m calling it the 10 minute way to trick yourself into accomplishing anything. In my case, I’m using the Write or Die software (http://writeordie.drwicked.com/) -there’s a free version online, but if your projects involve writing, spring $10 bucks for the desktop version -it’s got more cool features.

At first I tried setting the timer for 1 hour. Ha! I did everything to avoid starting -as a result I have a very clean house. Then I tried setting it for 30 minutes -I gained a couple of pounds by avoiding my computer again. Then I tried 10 minutes -perfect! I am able to write for 10 minutes and the time mostly flies by. Then I quickly talk myself into another 10 minutes and I can usually convince myself to go a third round -30 minutes of writing at a sitting.

Now you night think -well that will take too long to get your project done if you’re only working on it 30 minutes at a time. Hey! I’m making progress -I’m moving forward -my book will get done this way. AND, I leave my write or die software open during the day and when I find myself procrastinating on another project, I work on my book for 10 minutes and then come back to it.

You can use this -it works! You could set your cell phone alarm or an outlook reminder for 10 minutes and dive in. What goal do you have that you are procrastinating on? Try it for a few days. Then post your results here -I’d love to hear them!

A quick story.

In 2001, I found Thomas Leonard online.  Thomas sparked the coaching movement with prolific writing, an online community and conferences.

I spent lots of time on his teleclasses and met him at one of his conferences in Vegas.

During one of his teleclasses, he talked about “vision” and not just your ideal day kinda vision but something so big it was impossible.  His was “Everyone has a coach.”  I came up with “Everyday a Vacation Day” and he liked it.  I want everyone to look forward to each day because they’re doing what they love most of the time.

On Feb 12, 2003, I had a dream while sleeping. In the dream, Thomas came to me and I was gently holding him wrapped in a soft blanket.  He said a few things that I can’t remember and then he was gone.

When I woke that morning, I got my tea and checked email. I was stunned to learn that Thomas had died that night of a massive heart attack at the age of 46.

Another wake up call reminder that we need to do what we love! (Those of you who have been part of our virtual community for a long time know that I’m not a “whoo whoo” kinda gal -this was definitely an unusual experience for me!)

I was walking this morning and suddenly remembered that phrase:”Everyday A Vacation Day” and got excited. I’m thinking of creating a training program around that title this fall.

What do you think about the title? I haven’t come up with a sub-title yet -if you’ve got an idea, I’d love to hear it. Is it something you’d be interested in?  Would love to see your comments on this blog.

Ideas to take from this musing:

1. Life is short -live it YOUR way.
2. When you get a creative thought -listen, let it percolate a bit and then act!

August is my month for lots of “down time.” And,
by giving myself time to just “be”, I find the
most creative thinking starts bubbling up.

Today I was thinking about how any marketing
or public relations we’re doing for our businesses
begins with the foundation of our “message.”

My message is “you’ve gotta do what you love.”
It breaks my heart to see people trudging
through one boring or stress filled day
after another, filled with longing for
something better.

I’m compelled to say -you can have that
better life! Start now!!

What’s your message? What have you always
known and want to share? What do you wish
someone had told you years ago?

I’d love to see your messages -go ahead
and post them on this blog -share your
message with the world today…we need it!

Ok. I’m as guilty as anyone of multitasking.  Why?  Because my brain works faster than most people can speak.  Because it feels like I’m accomplishing more.  Wrong.  Research shows that multitasking reduces productivity by as much as 40%, reduces competency AND it’s stressful too.  So how to quit the habit?  If you are alerted with a sound from your computer every time an email comes in, turn it off.  Turn off the ringer on your phone when you’re working on projects.  Don’t check your blackberry or iPhone when your having lunch with someone.  And here’s the best trick I’ve found – make your own self imposed deadlines shorter -cut ‘em in half.  Think you need an hour for that project?  Decide to do it in 30 minutes -you’ll stay focused that way and it will feel great to get it accomplished.  Believe it or not the focused time you spend on your project will be far less stressful than multitasking.

So give it a try.  I’ll bet you’ll feel calmer, more present, and you’ll be giving others a true gift -your attention.  Drop a line here and let us know how it goes for you.

Do you ever find yourself having to make 3 trips to get out the door of your house because you keep forgetting things?  Or found yourself standing in the shower and you couldn’t  remember if you’d rinsed out your shampoo yet?  I’m not talking about memory loss…I’m talking about mindfulness or the lack of it in most cases.   If you’re like most of us, your mind tends to wander to the future or to the past most of the time.

The downside to letting your mind run you this way is that you aren’t fully in the present and the present is where  life happens.   James Joyce wrote, in his short story, A Painful Case, that “Mr. Duffy lived a short distance from his body.”  Can you relate?  I can.  There’s been too many times when I’m “in my head”, writing away, only to realize later that my body has been trying to send me signals to relax my shoulders or stretch out my back.

Years ago, I was introduced to mindfulness meditation when I read a book by Jon Kabat Zinn,  who at the time was a physician at the University of Massachusetts teaching mindfulness meditation techniques to patients with chronic disease in an effort to help them live with and reduce their pain.  His research was sound and showed many benefits to being mindful – I highly recommend his book “Wherever You Go, There You Are” if you’re interested in learning more.

When you’re mindful, you are acutely present, you are paying attention, you are experiencing moment to moment non-judgmental awareness.  The principle is fairly simple.  With our Iphones and blackberrys it’s not so simple.  I have been an early adopter of most technology and enjoy my gadgets thoroughly; however, I have to admit, I resisted getting a smart phone. I often used the free minutes waiting for an appointment or standing in a line to just “be”.  To be aware of what was around me.  I knew the temptation of checking emails and the web might wipe out many of mindful moments.  I have managed to find a balance.  I don’t reach for the phone every free minute, but when I am working on a project with a deadline, it’s convenient to be able to exchange information quickly no matter where I am.

Anyway back to the technique. You can do this in just a few minutes.  Become aware of your breath.  Feel it rising and falling in your chest and your belly.  When thoughts start to crowd in, just let them go by bringing your attention back to your breath.  When you’re ready start to be aware of all parts of your body.  And then from there open your awareness to the world around you, continuing to bring your attention back to your breath when your mind wonders.  What will mindfulness meditation bring you if you do it regularly? Awareness and calm.  Less stress and stress related illness.  Seeing the world for the first time.  Discovery that the world is full of small delights, many that you’re probably overlooking. And, a greater ability to be present to others.  Pretty powerful stuff.  And it’s free.

So go ahead, have a mindful moment or two.  I’d love to see your comments here once you try it!

It used to be that psychology research focused on what was wrong with people and people with mental illness diagnosis.  Starting in the 1950’s and really blossoming in the last 20 years is the field of Positive Psychology.  Why should you care?  Well the research coming out of this field can help you live longer, have better health, enjoy your relationships and live an authentic life.  Here’s the deal.  Each day you have lots of interaction with others -from your intimate relationships to the clerk at the grocery store.  Each day has thousands of “moments”.  And for the most part, you choose whether you are saying positive things or negative things in these encounters.

Research shows that in a marriage, a ratio of 5 to 1 (5 positive statements for each 1 negative statement) makes for a wonderful marriage -when you get to a ratio of 1 to 1 divorce is probably on its way.  Now don’t get me wrong,  Positive Psychology is not saying you have to walk around with a grin on your face all day spouting syrupy nonsense to everyone.  No, you have to listen to your feelings and sometimes your feelings just plain suck.  BUT, you can choose how you react to others.  Here’s a few practical ways to increase the amount of positive encounters in your life.

First, become a gentle observer of yourself.  Watch how many times you say something negative or criticize someone.  Keep a mental (or written) tally for a couple of days.   After that practice saying something kind or supportive….something positive to each person you encounter.  Not only will they feel good, you will to…and it spreads!  As each person you touch in a positive way then acts positive to another 2 people -the good feelings spread like amazing ripples.

Give it a try -and post a note here to let us know what happens!

I went to a Catholic funeral last Friday for a woman I’d never met.  Why’d I go?  Her son, who I chat with at my local watering hole, invited me.  It was an honor and privilege to attend.  Here’s a bit of what the local newspaper said: “June Ramos, died at the age of 84 after living a long noble life…She was a lifelong member of the San Juan Capistrano community, a member of the Juaneño Tribe of San Juan Capistrano.”

Death’s gift to us is reminding us of what is important.  And attending that funeral, held in the beautiful San Juan Capistrano Mission, filled to the rafters with people from the community, reminded me of how important community is to me -it ranks high on my list of values.  And I love that phrase “she lived a long, noble life.”  I’d like that said about me.

I often talk about “success” at Authentic Life Institute.  Today I’m remembering how I define success – living where I want to live, hanging out with people I want to hang out with and doing things I like to do (most of the time -we all have to go to the dentist every now and then!)  And living a noble life -that to me means serving others with my gifts.  And saying only kind words or none at all.  And being involved with my community.

I’m curious about how you define “success.”  Post your answer here -I’d love to see it!

I’ll tell you about a lie I often tell myself.  Now why would I lie to myself?  Well, despite my good intentions, my inner critic often feeds me lies and sometimes I almost buy into them…for just a few minutes…then I tell myself the truth.

Here’s the lie.

I have nothing unique or original to say.  Why should I write a book?   It’s all been written.  Who am I to think I have something original to offer the world?

Here’s the truth and a situation that really brought it home for me.  You are unique.  You see the world through eyes that only you have.  There are people out there who need just what you have to offer.

The situation:  I attended a working retreat with 8 other people and the greatest facilitator,  Barbara Sher.  Everyone of us thought we had the same message to share with the world and we were all pretty much convinced that we had nothing original to say.  Wrong.

Yes, we all wanted to tell people that they must do what they love.  BUT it turns out we are all going to share this message in very different ways.   Our eyes were really opened to amazing differences in the way we see the world and how each of us feel compelled to do our work.

Here’s some examples from this amazing group:  Cristi Daniels is hell bent on helping people who are living by “default”.  Trust me, she’s going to be hitting a lot of “reset” buttons in people.  Kate Duttro is going to rescue academics who can’t get a job in academia and think that life is over.  Kate Gardner is creating the World Ensemble foundation -her pilot project was a grassroots intercontinental soap opera with 150 people in New York City;Kisumu, Kenya; and Lima, Peru.   The 100 videotaped scenes of drama done by people like you knocked the socks off a lot of people (about 20,000; and it might knock yours off too, if you visit www.brookenya.org).

There’s more, but I’ll save those stories for another post.  Are you feeling overwhelmed at reading about the great things my retreat group is doing?  Well don’t.  Each of us at that retreat had doubts, meltdowns, tears and temper tantrums.  Kate G. calls her doubting, inner self talk character, “Stupid Head.”  We all have one of those.

So. You are unique.  You have something to share.  If you do share what’s inside you, you will have more energy, be happy more of the time, and yes you can make money too.

So what do you love?  What’s one step you can take towards that interest?  Is there an obstacle?   Post your wish and obstacle here and let us know about it -you never know who might have a resource for you.

I’ve been happily traveling for the last few weeks.  I actually like airports -weird as that might sound!  I spent a day in New Jersey with Mike Michalowicz, one of my coaches, and author of the infamous  Toilet Paper Entrepreneur – he shared ideas about effectively using email marketing -a golden nugget from him – make the  emails you send to your prospect list text only and write as if you’re writing to a good friend.  I see a lot of successful women entrepreneurs who use fancy email templates with several sections in their email newsletters -but the guys I watch tend to use just text.  What do you think?  I’ve been doing the fancy route and am now testing out the plain text -I’ll let you know how it goes. 

After the NJ adventure with Mike, I spent several days in Providence, RI visiting family and gathering info for my Providence Lover website.  

And then, I spent five amazing days with Barbara Sher and nine other powerful and provacative people at the cozy yet sprawling 17 bedroom Saluda Inn in North Carolina.  Most of us were interested in learning how to write a nonfiction book and how to get well paid speaking gigs…but the real meat of the retreat (retreat my a**, I worked my butt off!) was getting very clear about what we love and how we can spread our message.  A nugget from Barbara “You can’t think of anything you can’t have -if you get to the heart of it -you can have it.”

You KNOW that this is my mission -to get you to acknowledge what you love and to do whatever that is – and yes, if you’re hanging out with me, I’m sure there are many things you love and YES you can do them all!  So do something today that makes you happy -even a tiny step is good.  Would love to see you comment about what you plan to do or tell me your opinion about that email thing – fancy vs text.

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Now please notice I didn’t ask, how intelligent are you? That’s an entirely different question. Our culture puts a great deal of weight on assessments given to you when you’re in school…I.Q. tests, S.A.T.s, A.C.T.s…alphabet soup. This is unfortunate. These tests only measure a portion of the different types of intelligences including linguistic and logical-mathematical intelligences.

Years ago, I was delighted to find Howard Gardner’s work on multiple intelligences in the K-12 school systems. He identified 8 different types of intelligences. They include linguistic (good with words), logical-mathematical (good with numbers and reasoning), spatial (picture smart), bodily kinesthetic (body smart), musical (music smart), interpersonal (people smart), intrapersonal (self smart) and naturalistic (nature smart).

Another author, Daniel Goleman, says we can also have emotional intelligence and that this kind of intelligence is an even stronger indicator of success than I.Q. Emotional intelligence can be learned, it’s not fixed at birth. The different emotional intelligences include self-awareness, altruism, personal motivation, empathy, and the ability to love and be loved.

Ok. So what does all this have to do with you being happily self employed, working from home doing work you love and making plenty of money? I find that many of my clients doubt that they are “smart” enough to succeed in their own business. They often don’t recognize the gift of their own unique intelligence and how that gift can solve problems for others.

For example, I’ve met many interior designers who downplay their talent and under charge for their services. Now being someone who has had to return just about every piece of furniture I’ve ever bought on my own, I recognize clearly the gift of spatial intelligence in these designers. And that’s one intelligence I sure wasn’t blessed with! I save my self (and the sales clerks) lots of time and frustration by hiring designers.

Another example, I never knew that I had a natural ability for writing until I got to college. I assumed it was not difficult for anyone to write. Wrong! A college professor had us take an exam to determine if we needed to take a basic writing class. Of the 15 people who gave a writing sample that was judged by 3 teachers, mine was the only one that “passed” so I didn’t have to take that writing course. That’s when I had an aha moment of “oh, so this isn’t easy for everyone.” Prior to that, I just had no awareness of this gift. And now I am able to serve others with and charge well for my services.

So how are you intelligent? Don’t downplay your interpersonal and/or intrapersonal skills. Those are often even more important than some of the others. They allow you to build rapport and relationships, to empathize with others and to be a good listener. These are some of the strongest skills you need in business and sales. Would love to hear about how you are intelligent -post a line or two here on my blog: http://authenticlifeinstitute.com/blog/ and how you are starting to honor your unique intelligence. I can just about guarantee that you have far more capacity than you give yourself credit for!