I went to a Catholic funeral last Friday for a woman I’d never met.  Why’d I go?  Her son, who I chat with at my local watering hole, invited me.  It was an honor and privilege to attend.  Here’s a bit of what the local newspaper said: “June Ramos, died at the age of 84 after living a long noble life…She was a lifelong member of the San Juan Capistrano community, a member of the Juaneño Tribe of San Juan Capistrano.”

Death’s gift to us is reminding us of what is important.  And attending that funeral, held in the beautiful San Juan Capistrano Mission, filled to the rafters with people from the community, reminded me of how important community is to me -it ranks high on my list of values.  And I love that phrase “she lived a long, noble life.”  I’d like that said about me.

I often talk about “success” at Authentic Life Institute.  Today I’m remembering how I define success – living where I want to live, hanging out with people I want to hang out with and doing things I like to do (most of the time -we all have to go to the dentist every now and then!)  And living a noble life -that to me means serving others with my gifts.  And saying only kind words or none at all.  And being involved with my community.

I’m curious about how you define “success.”  Post your answer here -I’d love to see it!

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I’ve been following the relatively new field of Positive Psychology for the last few years –imagine studying people who are healthy and thriving and not just those with disorders and diagnosis –about time!

There are powerful research results coming out about the idea of gratitude.  Findings say that gratitude helps maintain close connections with others.  Gratitude is linked to more helping behaviors, high positive emotions, life satisfaction, increased hope and lower feelings of anxiety and envy.  Who doesn’t want that!

In a research study on happiness, people in one group were asked to write a letter of gratitude to someone, a 2nd group was asked to write down five things they were grateful for each day for one week, and a 3rd group was asked to write down five things they were grateful for on a single day.

There appeared to be more benefit to listing your blessings 1 day a week rather than everyday (I wonder if it was because it was easier to remember to do it once!).  All three interventions worked, providing people with increased happiness and hope.  And even more impressive –the benefits lasted up to 6 months.

Of all the happiness interventions to date– gratitude gives the strongest effects.

The affirmative prayer method that I practice daily has a gratitude component to it. Being grateful for what is right now and feeling what it’s like to already have what you have asked for.  When I practice affirmative prayer and get to the gratitude part, my heart always fills up so full…no matter what circumstances are appearing in my outside world…it is a wonderful feeling and always transforms me to a higher place.

Enjoy this season of gratitude, and post a comment on our blog about your experiences with gratitude…I’d love to hear them!

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It’s one thing to seek out people who are ahead of you in achieving something you want.  For example, if you want to reach a six figure income, working from home, it makes sense to find someone who has done that and to learn from them the systems they used.  That’s smart. But what I see so many of my clients do is compare themselves to others and declare that they come up short. 

I love Ralph Waldo Emerson’s writings. He lived in the 1800’s and was a philosopher and essayist from Boston.  In his essay, “Self-Reliance”, he says “there is a time in every (wo)man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better for worse as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till.”  I believe he was not speaking literally here about farming…but rather telling us to “till” the life and gifts given us in order to tap into that endless good.

He also says “trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.  Accept the place the divine providence has found for you” and… “nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of our own mind.”

A coach once gave me some great advice that I embraced.  She said “flaunt your quirks.”  The quirkier the better.  What this means is that all the qualities and characteristics that make you unique are part of your essential, true self.  And when you are being true to yourself you are attractive to others.  You will attract just the right people into your personal and business world.  Think of someone who you consider successful.  Can you name some of their “quirks?”  Chances are you can.

Being authentic doesn’t happen in one fell swoop.  It happens daily in the choices you make – if a decision is based on what you imagine society thinks you “should do” or when you make a choice based on what you think will impress someone else…that’s probably not authentic.

When you have defined what’s important to you –where it is important to expend your time and energy on this planet –and you make your choices guided by that…you’re being authentic.

Learn from others.  Sure.  Take what you like from them and integrate it into who you are.  Don’t imitate…that makes your soul wither…let your unique spirit shine in the world!

RT @TPEntrepreneur Still have that old bad habit? Here are 39 ways to finally bust through! http://budurl.com/njr9

1. You’re breathing. You owe your life to the world not the other way around. How are you sharing you natural gifts with others?
2. You have a roof over your head. I’m guessing that you do if you have time to read Top Ten lists!
3. You have enough food in your stomach. Again, an assumption but if you’re reading this, I bet its true.
4. You have a computer. You’re reading this on it right?
5. There is something beautiful that you can look at right now. It may be in your home or outside -check out that flower or cloud.
6. You have online friends. You do, don’t you? If not, join us on twitter.
7. You have opportunities and possibilities. Yes you do. Unlimited. Really.
8. The sun will rise and set. And you don’t even have to do anything.
9. You can read -therefore you can keep learning. Life long learning rocks.
10. You’re able to read Top Ten Lists. Fun, huh?